My World is Yours Now

I was having a deep conversation with my thoughts when he politely asked me if we can go for a walk. My ears only heard the last word-walk- and my mind immediately said yes. As we rose up from chairs, he confessed his old affair with long walks to me, and my heart just whispered, “ Never let him go ". Walking aimlessly at night is my favourite pass time. It gives me the kind of freedom that is felt by each atom of my existence. I've never met someone who loves rambling as much as I do, and it makes me sad to the core of my heart because people are missing out on the life of their lives. But, my heart wasn't sad anymore, 'cause that night I found someone. As night grew darker, he let me sink into him. He told me how painful his childhood was, how he wanted to end his life, how everyone around him silenced his voice, and how he wished she wouldn't leave. The way he talked about her as if her name is medicine of all his pain, made me wondered about the men I left....

This ain't just my name written in Urdu. It's a secret that we shared for quite long. Long enough to call it a lifetime. Life used to be a synonym of you. I remember the day when I asked you to teach me Urdu. Little did I know, I was asking you to stay in my heart forever. You did stay. I did stay. We both stayed. In each other's heart. Then came the day when you left. Quietly. In Sleep. Silent heart attack, they informed. Since then, I breathe you in the letters you carved on infinite number of papers to make me learn Urdu. Some call it the beginning of our eternal love. Those imperfect lines drawn by me, trying to give them shapes of  Urdu words, remind me that our love was perfect. That we were perfect. That you are still here. Safe and sound. Inside my heart. So… it is not just my name written in Urdu. It's a piece of you with me very much alive in the language of love.

I accidentally killed a girl yesterday. I didn't feel terrible although I was scared. But only because I didn't want to spend my entire life in jail. To my surprise, there was no sign of fear or guilt for snatching someone's breathes forever. Not at all. I was supposed to tremble to the thought of someone dead because of me. I was supposed to give up eating for a day or two atleast. I was supposed to lock myself in a room for days or weeks. I was supposed to cry, not a river, but ocean. Nothing like that happened. I was fine - eating, listening songs, watching tv as I do everyday. Does this make me a horrible person? Evil maybe? A girl with black heart as charcoal? Or a girl with no heart at all? Anyway, I am thankful to the fact that it was only a dream. Otherwise, how would I stand a person who can be as emotionless and disgusted as I acted in my dream. I hope dreams are just dreams. I hope.

When I left you alone in the hotel room, I made a promise to myself that day to never think about you again. But here I am, waking up every day with a hope of seeing you beside me as you play with my hair. And it's strange how I still want your deep, raspy voice to be the first thing I hear right after I wake up. You know the thing I yearn for most is your silly jokes, which you used to tell me with so much enthusiasm as if you were about to solve the mystery of black hole. I remember the rule too: If I laughed at your stupid jokes, I had to kiss you in return for your noble work of making me laugh. And I purposely let your jokes win every single time. It's been months since we spoke. Now, silence is all we have between us. Although this comfortable silence tortures me every day, I won't be the first one to break. I can't be either. By the way, my phone misses your voice, maybe more than I do. You remember John, my friend from work. He asked me out when h...

Dear London, I don’t know what it is that makes my heart jump every time I hear your name. Well, whatever it is, I’d love to keep it safe and sound for the rest of my life. I know I’ve never visited you. Not even once. That also means I’ve never had the chance to stare right into your eyes all night long. However, I feel like I’ve been in your loving arms before, it’s just I don’t remember it anymore. Perhaps, long long time ago, you weren’t a place. You must be a man. A man who had the most generous heart and the most beautiful smile. A man who appreciated art as much as stars appreciate the night. A man who loved to make everyone laugh. A man who enjoyed little things in his life. And maybe, I was your one true love. Yes. Yes. This is childish but I can’t help it. You make me sad like lovers are supposed to be sad when they are miles apart from each other. You make me insanely happy when I think of seeing you in person and actually believe that it will happen one day. I don...

She was a 10-year-old introvert girl. One morning, her father gave her a 10-rupee note to buy anything for her from the Saturday market. She was excited because such lovely things used to happen only once in a blue moon. For her, that 10-rupee note seemed like some treasure worth millions because her father gave it to her with so much love. She wanted to use it in the best way possible. She pondered all day about what she should buy until the clock told her that it was time to go to the market. She and her mother got ready and left. The market wasn’t far away from their home so it only took them less than 20 minutes to reach the market. Her mother got busy in looking for household stuff while her eyes were wandering here and there in a hope of finding the perfect something soon. She saw many toys, dolls, hair bands, but nothing captured her heart. Soon, her face dropped in disappointment. The last ray of hope was ready to leave her heart when her eyes caught a glimpse of a heart...

ये कैसा रिश्ता है ... तुम्हारा और मेरा? नहीं समझ पाती मैं। कभी मीठा, कभी कट्ठा, कभी नफरत का तो कभी बेशुमार प्यार भरा। कभी सूरज सा चमकता है, तो कभी काली घटा सा बरसता है। कभी ठंडी हवा के झोंके सा सुकून देता है, तो कभी सर्द रातों सा बेचैन कर जाता है। कहने को तो अब हम सिर्फ नफरत की एक बारीक डोर से बंधे हैं - जो बेशक हमें प्यार करने की इज़ाजत तो नहीं देती, मगर हमें एक-दूसरे से अलग होने का फरमान भी नहीं सुनाती। तुम्हे याद है… हमारी अनगिनत आख़िरी मुलाकातों में से वो आख़िरी मुलाकात   जब मैने एक ही साँस में तुमसे कहा था कि मुझे नफरत है – तुमसे, तुम्हारे नाम से, तुम्हारे वजूद से, यहाँ तक कि तुम्हारे सायें से भी। उस वक़्त मुझे पहली बार एहसास हुआ कि कुछ तो है हमारे दरमियाँ जो सबसे जुदा है, सबसे अलग। शायद इसलिये ही मेरा जहन, अगले ही पल ये गवाही देने से इंकार कर गया था के मुझे नफरत है... तुमसे। ना जाने क्या है ऐसा जो सिर्फ मुझे तुमसे मोहब्बत करने को मजबूर करता है। क्यूँ इतना अलग है...तुम्हारा और मेरा रिश्ता? हाँ... इस बात से वाकिफ हूँ के अब ना मुलाकात होगी, ना ही कोई बात होगी। अब ना ...

For almost 16 years, I had no relation with the famous three magical words-I Love You. I never knew how they sound when someone let them breathe in air. I never tried saying these words out loud even to myself. Then, one day, out of nowhere, someone came in my life and said that he loves me. Unfortunately, that was on chat. For two more years, I didn't get the chance to hear the live rhythm of the famous three magical words and the idea of saying these words to myself didn't exist even in my subconscious mind. Few months later, I got admission in college. I met people. I made friends. Still, there was no trace of the famous three magical words. After few days, I joined a course in my college, as I wanted to try something different. The people I met in this course were not friends. They were more like family. One day, while going back home, one of my friend from the course said I Love You to me. I didn't utter a word for a few seconds because of t...

You know, you are not the same person I know over texts. You make me feel as if I am talking with a complete stranger who knows every little detail of my life. I like you for the times when we are in class and we can't stop laughing on your stupid jokes despite the scolding of our lecturer. I like you for the moments when we sit on the park bench and talk about galaxies, stars, and the very existence of this universe. I like you for the days when you come to my place and we plan to play hide and seek, but end up telling each other stories which we write each night before going to bed. I like you when we meet in the real world, but in the virtual world, you sound like gibberish to me. I hate your virtual version. Because, I can't tell the difference if you are being serious, funny, flirty or alien.  I can't tell the difference if you're genuinely laughing or just decorating your text with smileys. I can't tell the difference if yo...

Hey x Bf, Today I want to tell you the reason why things didn't workout between us. I know you've waited so long for this. So, here you go. Do you remember the day when you made fun of the way I pronounce words and later on you told me that I am your bestest friend? You know what? That was the day when I didn't even feel like one of those friends of yours with whom you shared a relation of small hi's and quick bye's. And, that was the day, when my brain also stopped calling you my best friend. Do you remember the day when you couldn't stop screaming that I walk slower than a tortoise and later on you told me that I'm the sweetest person in this entire world? You know what? That was the day when I regretted laughing at each one of your silly jokes. And, that was the day, when my brain shifted 2 years' memories of our friendship from sweet section to bitter section. Do you remember the day when you said that I eat all day and night before our whole ...

It's been years since they took me here. I've even lost count. Here, each minute feels like one hour, each hour feels like one day, and one day feels like one year. This room, drowned in darkness, is an epitome of death and it would be a crime in itself if you give shelter to life within yourself, willingly. Without any guilt, I've been committing this crime since my very first day here. Because, I still have hope that one day my ears would hear the melodious chirping of my neighbour's children once again, instead of the never ending silence of this lifeless room. Because, I still have hope that one day my tongue would taste different flavours of Indian dishes once again instead of the chapati they serve which cuts my throat a little less than a knife. Because, I still have hope that one day my face would be adorned by Gulal instead of hands' print of people who claimed to be soldiers, unfortunately not of my country. Becau...

My Love, This universe loves to conspire. It has conspired the most beautiful love stories till date and I’m positive that it’s currently working on new ones. I pray every day that its new ones must include our story as well. I know we haven’t met yet and you don’t even know my name, even though the circumstances are completely different on my side. It felt like I’ve known you for ages when I first saw your picture. I know this line is very much overused by lovers romancing all over the world. But, I call this line my savior. This line saves me from running out of words when anyone asks me how does he make you feel. It sums up all my emotions under one roof with so much ease. I don’t know if we’ll meet in this lifetime or not. I don’t know if we’ll die as each other’s lovers or not. I don’t know if the universe is considering our case or not. I don’t know any of these. However, I am sure about one thing: if someday God comes to see me and gives me a choice between spending a day w...

I want to leave my footprints everywhere - foreign countries, ice caves, land under northern lights, desert, long forgotten places, villages, mountains, valleys and so on. Because of my “want to leave my footprints everywhere" fantasy, I'm more than willing to steal a few moments from my daily routine just to day dream about it.  Though, I never knew the reason behind this craziness. The reason why those strange unknown lands call out my name at 3 a.m. when I'm not even aware of my very own existence. The reason why that 2 second eye-soothing glimpse of those snow capped majestic mountains play hide and seek with my head , sometimes the entire day. The reason why hundreds of butterflies do salsa on the already wounded floor of my heart whenever I see Facebook or Instagram posts by my friends with captions like travel diaries, Shimla diaries, London Diaries etc. But now I know the reason. This is love. I'm in love with foreign lan...